Condemnation

It is too easy to judge others on their failings. For most of us, we judge others just as readily as we judge ourselves. But we need to accept our failures and move on — so we make allowances for ourselves where we do not for others.

A friend of mine made a mistake — a big mistake. If you look at her mistake, see the failure, and condemn her for it, then be ready to prove your mistake-free life. Your mistake might have cost you a friend, a batch of muffins, or a few points in your credit rating.

Her mistake cost her a house, her car, her possessions, her job, her children, her self-confidence, and the respect of family and friends. In essence, everything but the tattered remains of the life she came into this world with.

And instead of admitting defeat or committing suicide, which so many others have done, she rallied herself and began picking up the pieces of her life in order to fix her mistake.

You judge and condemn her though she loves you. Though she understands your anger, your disappointment, it wounds her. You slap at or ignore her reconciliation attempts as though as she is not worth a moment of your time — though she is your mother and her mistake was to fall in love with a deceiver who deceived even you.

And she does not now tell you, broken heart in hand, to guard your heart and be wary of love. She laughs and accepts what cannot be undone — telling you to dream big with an open heart.

And you continue to hate her.