I Feel Nothing January 28, 2012Posted by sarahsfate in My Own Personal Trials.
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I haven’t felt much like writing lately, which is weird and funny at the same time. Is it because I have too much going on? Maybe I’m unmotivated. Even when my friends come to call I find I have very little to impart…as though everything I do (while interesting enough for me to partake in it) is completely not worth discussing. Just the fact that I’m writing about how unimportant my ruminations are seems ridiculous. I’m not a boring person…at least I think I am not. I try to live each moment to the fullest and experience all that I can. I work and write and study and raise and cook…and still find time to visit and photograph and soak. But despite how full of interest I am in each of my endeavors…I am bored with it so much that I cannot even find ways to make it sound interesting enough to talk about. Bleh.
When I write…it’s in my journal. Or a letter to a friend. Or on book two of my Wings of Fate series. Or it’s a blog. Or just a little stupid or funny something on Facebook. But my emotion for it has dimmed and the lack-there-of seems to have created this smoky filter across my writing, indeed it has all but smothered my passion for everything.
I don’t feel numb. And I’m not unhappy. No, things have never been so good. So…why do I feel nothing? There’s too much to do in life and too little time to do it in…to move through the days feeling nothing.