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Cartoon Lessons March 6, 2011

Posted by sarahsfate in Thoughts on People.
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Is thinking on the lessons imbued in children’s cartoon flicks…

That sometimes the poor kid DOES snare the rich, defiant heir. And that somewhere out in the world there really is a genie ready and waiting with wishes…everything will turn out great in the end even though your parents had to die first.

Not only can dogs talk to each other, but they smoke cigars when you aren’t looking. Also, that if you stand up for what’s right, everything will turn out great in the end even though your parents had to die first.

That commitment issues are not a recent development and extend to both human development and mammals. Everything will turn out great in the end even though your family had to die first.

Bugs are okay to eat, hyenas have round rolling eyes, and sometimes family can’t be trusted. Everything will turn out great in the end even though your dad had to die first.

Being defiant will get you the prince and all his trappings, even if you have to convince him with your body (in lieu of not being able to speak) that you should have him. Everything will turn out great even though Ursula had to die first.

Standing up for yourself and doing the right thing can go terribly, terribly wrong, even when the gods are rooting for you. But everything will turn out great in the end. *pretty sure everyone lived in this movie*

Crazy jealous women will put a hex on you and try to kill you but don’t worry, a strong handsome prince will come along and kiss you **somehow making you incapable of independent thought afterwards**. Everything will turn out great but you will have to kill the crazy jealous woman first.

That if you have enough patience and kindness, you will find the inner beauty no matter how fearsome the beast. That’s right people, beneath that violent abuser is a loving heart…stick around and wait for it. Oh, also, that when you are not in the room, your dishes are playing hanky panky. Everything will turn out great in the end but first the ex-boyfriend has to die so as not to get in the beast’s way.

Step mothers are evil, forests are terrifying but if you look hard enough you’ll find seven little men highing and hoing. In order to be happy, the step mother must die, her castle and all its trappings¬†forfeited, and the handsome prince will ride in on his steed and carry you away into the clouds. **pretty sure that way lies death** But everything will turn out great in the end.

This was a movie written about men no matter how old they are and should be used as a warning to small girls everywhere. Yeah, yeah, everything will turn out great in the end and no one had to die.

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