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Unseen in The Light October 3, 2010

Posted by sarahsfate in Poems.
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Sometimes the dark escapes and all around me is light

In the halo there you are with shadows in your eyes

Beyond the dark I see nothing, no hint of my light

Am I there? Are you there? Or am I dreaming this time?

I imagined something different, a furnace — a fight

An anger, a fury, with a punishing design

But in your eyes I see nothing, no hint of the fight

It is missing from you, as though it was never mine

If I put my hand on you, heat building in the night,

would you feel the whisper of my fingers on your side?

Would you close your dark eyes and give over to the night?

With my hand on you, will you promise me not to lie?

You need not say a word for your body says it right

Anywhere but here is where your mind is at this time

This time, every time, because it’s me that isn’t right

And you know this is the truth, I see it in your eyes

But you pretend, and I pretend, and turn out the light

So we can’t see our faces pretending this is right

What I feel is alien, out of place, and too light

And it’s cold, I feel cold, with my soul locked up tight

I refuse to feel a thing, refuse to face the night

Refuse to remember what my dreams had once designed

It isn’t me, it isn’t you, it isn’t us tonight

But two strangers pretending that what we do is right

When I leave I will try to forget you just this time

I won’t miss you, because I know you were never mine

I was mad to believe, to dream of another life

Another time, another life, erased from my mind

Had I chose, had you chose, and had it ever been right

I would have known the truth just by looking in your eyes

But I see, do you see me, with shadows in your eyes

Would you choose, could you choose, if we were not here tonight.

I regret now, in a corner, of frozen white light

Forgetting, God forgetting, what ruined us that night

And all the days and all the dreams and that bitter fight

It’s over, all it was, is at the edge of my light

But I can still see you, shadowed, standing where you might

Where we can never forget what we carried that night

And I can never forget the nothing in your eyes

With despair of your lips, by now knowing they held lies.

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