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Just to Scream August 22, 2010

Posted by sarahsfate in Poems.
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I ran as far as I could go, to be away

to be alone

I drove to nowhere til I ran out of gas

then left my car there

then moving aimless, blind in the sun

seeking darkness

I ran as far as I could go, to be away

to be alone

I went where there’s no sound

no voices to trace

no music, or laughter, no pretense of the stage

to overwhelm me

just my thoughts and this anger and this deadening pain

just me and my hate

I went where there’s no sound

no voices to trace

Still I hear you in the wind like you’re there

like you’re walking with me

and you walk and you stare

repeat in the sun all those ridiculous lies

I’m running from

Still I hear you in the wind like you’re there

like you’re walking with me

And then I run, running so fast

til I’m out of breath

so I stop and lean over

and stare at this path

heaving in breaths to smother this fury

blazing in my veins

And then I run, running so fast

til I’m out of breath

Where I’m at there is nothing

for so many miles

and my car — so far gone now

lost in those miles

just the leaves and the grass and beckoning trees

and birds who are startled by me

Where I’m at there is nothing

for so many miles

What I see through the sunlight in my eyes

and on my cheeks

through my teeth as the bidden rage repeats

still coursing through me

and I hear as it moves through my hands, through my heart

a roar as it meets

What I see through the sunlight in my eyes

and on my cheeks

But I break past the seam and turn my face to the sky

then I shut my eyes and I scream

The scream churns; it’s a sound from the depths of my soul

but it fades as it burns

the sound is wounded and lonely and broken

a reflection of me

but I break past the seam and turn my face to the sky

then I shut my eyes and I scream

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