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When Worries Worry August 9, 2010

Posted by sarahsfate in Thoughts on People.

I think people worry about what is coming, more than they worry about what is happening. At any given moment, there are dozens of possibilities for what could happen in the next moment.

If you set your alarm at night — a thing of predictable outcome — you should be able to sleep without concern. But you worry anyway. What if the power goes out or you oversleep? The possibility of a disappointed boss and subsequent reprimand, the confrontation worries you. How do find comfort in sleep?

You leave for work and wonder if you will be rear-ended in rush-hour traffic, or if your tire will blow out, or if you will still be late to work even though your trusty alarm clock went off without fail.

At work your boss calls you in for an impromptu meeting and you worry immediately about downsizing. Or that you were seen checking your personal emails at work, or that someone heard the text messages binging on your phone.

You worry about buying groceries and how long the food will last before you have to return and spend more money you can’t afford to spend. How expensive your electricity bill will be that month, or if your dog is sick or just overheated.

We want to appear unconcerned to others around us — as though life is great and we have no worries whatsoever. When someone breaks your heart, you pretend it has no effect on you. When your wife leaves, you tell your friends ‘good riddance’. When people find out about that your tire exploded on the highway, and you’re upset because it damaged your car, you just tell people it’s no big deal, these things happen.

But it is a big deal.

It’s always a big deal — everything is.

How do we unwind from such constant worry? From the possibility of things to come, or the need to seem fancy-free? How do we ever stop to breathe and just enjoy a moment? I think if people did stop to breathe and enjoy a moment, it would be followed quickly — too quickly — by the onset of new worries. Like how you just wasted a moment breathing when there is so much else to be done.

I miss being still within my own mind. I miss being able to enjoy a moment.

I wonder how many other people around me are thinking the same thing.



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